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Adventures
in Reincarnation
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Page 2 -
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"Are
you planning on riding up there?" Willet seems curious but unconcerned
"Absolutely,
can you pass me a beer?" Willet hands up a can of bud and the
car lurches off into the street and away. Soon I'm clinging for
dear life to the fingertip-wide edge of the windshield with the
bulletproof cheer of the truly intoxicated. I appraise my situation
while the world shrieks by me at 80 kph, decide that all is well,
and call for another beer to be sent up. Willet pops up, sitting
on the edge of the passenger window and hands me another can of
beer.
"We're
going fast." He observes.
Soon
I'm clinging for dear life to the fingertip-wide edge
of the windshield with the bulletproof cheer of the truly
intoxicated.
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"Yeah.
Pretty fast." I gingerly crack the can open with one hand and
begin swilling from it while the wind makes my eyes tear and lights
swim by like crazed fireflies on a tequila bender. We're suddenly
braking hard and the can sails away from me, skipping off the
hood before disappearing under the car. "Crap," I announce to
no one in particular.
The car
sails on, now with Willet out on the roof as well. "Stop the car!"
I holler at our mysterious driver, causing an abrupt deceleration
that threatens to shake Willet and I free of earth's surly bonds.
After we come to a stop and have a chance to regain our momentarily
shaken composure, I point to the giant metal framework of the
suspension bridge directly in front of us. "Willet, man, we have
to climb that thing, immediately."
Willet
eyeballs the three or four stories of girders that rise above
the bridge deck. "Ok!" he chirps and is off towards the bridge
at a run. Our driver is yelling something from back at the car
but he has already largely ceased to exist.
We race
up the girders and ladders (or some kind of ladder-like structures)
with wild-monkey abandon, until we find ourselves perched atop
the bridge. Below us a sea of twinkling lights is shimmering in
the warm night and a police cruiser appears to have stopped to
chat with our driver. We decide to kick back, wait, and see if
things work themselves out. They do and the police car drives
away a few minutes later. Somehow or other we race back down and
regain our positions atop the car, which careens off into the
night. Our driver is yelling something angry sounding at us, but
I'll be damned if I can make out what it is.
At our
next party I pile into a case of beer offered by a friendly but
mysteriously fuzzy-looking individual. "You're drinking more?"
Willet observes with mild surprise, "you're going to be doing
some puking.
"God I
hope so, this much booze will probably kill me if I don't."
At some
point we retreat to the car to go home, however our ungrateful
driver has long since vanished so I crawl under a little blanket
and sleep in the back seat while Willet crashes in the front,
or on the lawn, or something. Sometime after dawn Willet is waking
me up to attempt to go home. I look down at myself and realize
that I'm covered in black smudges.
"What
the hell is this?" I'm somewhat confused.
"Oil,
Shaggy. You slept on my oil change blanket."
"Oh. I
hope you can drive, because I sure can't."