Adventures In Capitalism - A Walk in Dark Woods

Hypothesis of the month: Capitalism, God bless its murky soul, can sometimes be bad for things.

...the more complex something is, the more wrapped in layers of history and tradition, the more steeped in ritual and mystifying cultural artifact, the worse capitalism will tend to treat it.

Yes, that's right, I may be a died in the wool capitalist, the owner of a soul forged in the furnaces of university business programs, but I am intimately aware that my favoured socio-economic system takes a terrible toll on some things. A lot of things actually. In fact, the more complex something is, the more wrapped in layers of history and tradition, the more steeped in ritual and mystifying cultural artifact, the worse capitalism will tend to treat it.

Hi, welcome to checkpoint one. So now you understand the basic premise of our exercise today and have some sense of where we're trying to go. That's great, but we have some serious mileage to cover and the terrain is unpredictable so don't crack your lunch open just yet, we need to keep moving. Daylight is precious in these woods.

Ok then, moving through generalities is a slow and difficult process, so we'll take a compass bearing here and set out on a very specific tangent. Let's take a look at the martial arts. You know, kicking, punching, screaming and wearing little white outfits reminiscent of things guys wore in Star Wars. Allow me to provide a little context.

Shaggy D's Super-Condensed History of the Martial Arts*:

It starts something like this. It's way back when and a lot of guys live in one corner of the world. Foreign countries are highly accessible because they're so damn close, and given the complete lack of nuclear reprisal or international police forces, there's a good living to be made in conquering and plundering. Fun times.

So anyway, one country sees the opportunity, trains up an army and gets into the habit of storming over and invading its neighbours. They like the results but their neighbours are understandably disturbed so they sit down and discuss what's been happening. Since they're getting regular updates, they are able to study how their disruptive friends are whooping them and then come up with their own system, designed to specifically address the problems they've been experiencing.

On their next visit then, the invaders are surprised and dismayed, prompting them to go home in a bad state and ask each other, "what the hell was that?" They feel slighted and decide to revise their style of fighting to take into account the troubles they've recently seen. This cycle repeats itself for hundreds of years until you have an assortment of martial arts that have been highly honed through centuries of guys fighting guys who wanted their stuff. Then, somewhere along the way, someone brings it to North America.

*Disclaimer: This is the Internet - you probably don't know who I am or how much research I've done (none). If you plan on citing this history as a reference in your doctoral thesis, know that you are an idiot (but I'm charmed and flattered just the same).

Hi, welcome to checkpoint two. That was a bit of a slog wasn't it? Sorry about that, but I did warn you that the terrain was unpredictable - you almost never get anywhere in this part of the world without at least a little bushwhack. Anyway, now that we have our context established let's keep moving while we've still got the sun. It won't last much longer now.

So my friend Reece and I decide to embark on a little journey of discovery, to tour an assortment of martial arts studios here in our little Canadian home and see what's available. We start out at the brightly lit end of the spectrum and work our way towards the darker, creepier corners, where trouble lurks in undefined sizes and shapes. First up is a plain and simple kickboxing school. It turns out to be what it claims to be and offers up heaping helpings of competition oriented, well taught wrestling and kickboxing. It is pleasant and friendly and populated by some of the ugliest, sweatiest people on earth. It's a relatively promising start.