Father's Day

Dr. Cyclops: Mungo, do you know what day it is today?

Mungo: Wednesday?

Dr. Cyclops: No you babbbling idiot, it's Sunday! and more important than that, it's Father's Day!

Mungo: What Father Day mean?

Dr. Cyclops: Oh you poor moron , you don't even know who your father is , do you?

Mungo: Mungo no have dad, Mungo all alone....

Dr. Cyclops: But you have me Mungo, don't you love ME?

Mungo: No, Mungo hate Dr. Cyclops, Doctor treat Mungo like animal.

Dr. Cyclops: WHAT! You idiot! I give you a nice cell to sleep in, all the gruel you can eat,a Nintendo and a big shiny bucket for you to make poopies in...what more could you possibly want?

Mungo: Mungo lonely, Mungo want girl.

Dr. Cyclops: A girl? Girls are treacherous, loathsome snakes, never to be trusted. The only thing girls are possibly good for is procreation, and I discovered a way around that decades ago!

Mungo: Hunh?

Dr. Cyclops: Genetic engineering, you drooling baboon! Taking a single human cell and nurturing it into a fully grown, living entity! Like God himself!

Mungo: Dhuh?

Dr. Cyclops: I was the first man on earth to ever succeed at cloning another human being! ...And do you know WHO that first human clone was?

Mungo: Fwah?

Dr, Cyclops: It was YOU, you imbecile!

Mungo: Mhua?

Dr. Cyclops: Yes Mungo, YOU! After countless trials and failures, you were my first success....In the late sixties, I dug-up a newly deceased body from the cemetary behind the county insane asylum, I extracted cell samples from the poor lad's spine and took them back to my lab...the cells were treated with radiation than incubated in a glass box heated with light bulbs.Mungo, you were the first!!! Yes Mungo, I am your father, I am the one who gave you life.

Mungo: Mungo no care, Mungo want girl!!

Dr. Cyclops: I just told you that I am your father and all you can do is beg for girls?

Mungo: GLUUURRRRRLLLLESSSS!!!

Dr. Cyclops: Alas, sweet Mungo, here is my dilemma. Sure, I could march on down to the county insane asylum cemetary, dig up another body, make you a girlfriend, yadda yadda yadda, but what have you done? Nothing. "Mungo want this" and "Mungo want that"...you have to do it for yourself,Mungo. I mean, really, why the fuck can't you just ask for the keys to the station wagon, drive down to the mall and pick up your own chicks? I'm not a fucking pimp you know, I am a scientific GENIUS!!!.

Mungo: (furiously pulling at chains) GARRRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Dr. Cyclops: No Mungo! Stop pulling on the chains, you'll only...(SNAP!...the chains break) Oh My God!!! Mungo is loose!

Mungo : NYYYAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!! (Mungo rips apart the double steel-plated security doors of the laboratory and runs into the dark night towards the county insane asylum and than maybe after that, the mall).

Dr. Cyclops: Pleeese Mungo!, I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said! NOOOOOO!! The only thing you will find there is torment and sorrow !...MUNGGGGO ! (sobbing...on his knees pounding the ground with his fists). The End.