Ages 23 - 25:

Booze of Choice:

Fashionable Beers - My focus shifts from alcohol that shows off my masculinity to booze that might impress women if they saw me drinking it. Accordingly, I opt for mainstream beers that show a sense of style and fashion while still allowing me to drink like a sailor. As their popularity grows, microbrew beers increasingly creep onto my menu, giving me lots of fashion statement options while simultaneously providing the necessary strong stimulation that my shell-shocked taste buds require.

Hard Alcohol - I experiment extensively but become undirected in this area for a time. Never a fan of mixed drinks, the options for demonstrating my worldliness are now limited by the relative un-sophistication of most strong liquors known to me at the time. Shooters lack class, I can't get the hang of martinis and swigging rye straight from the bottle becomes unacceptable. Years of heavy excess have caused me to swear off Bourbon as the root of all my adolescent troubles so I dabble with Gin but have a tough time disassociating it from booze pilfered from adults' liquor cabinets and consumed in empty fields during my teenage years. I seek enlightenment and direction but am hard pressed to find it. It is a time alone in the desert, although if hard pressed I will fall back on tequila but swear off on the ritual salt and lemons.

The day I throw out my empty JD bottles is a transition point that I recognise even as it happens. When an artefact loses its context it loses its meaning and becomes an antique.

Ages 26 - Present:

Booze of Choice:

Microbrew Beers - Swearing off big brewery swill entirely I migrate to a steady diet of microbrewery beer. Partially because there are many tasty options that make Molson, Labbatt and Anheuser Busch products seem like cat urine, and partially because there are many interesting brand names and labels that allow me to match my beer to my current mood. I discover Guinness and become entranced with the bitter, oily taste. The fact that many people can't stand the stuff is an added plus in catering to my deep-seated and seldom discussed desire to be just a tiny bit elitist.

Scotch - A period of directionless drifting ends when I am introduced to the oily wonders of scotch. I find the taste a little unsettling at first, but quickly learn to love it, allowing me to use it as my new booze of choice. Scotch's pretentious image and strong alcohol content allow me to show off sophistication and intellectualism while getting lit like a Kuwaiti oil well. The best of both worlds.

And, these days, when I occasionally crave a delusional bender of life threatening proportions, the twin jet fuels of Jack Daniels and Tequila are allowed to creep back onto the menu. I never did get the schizophrenic hang of mixed drinks, although I'm occasionally known to dabble with forms of martini if the name is satisfying. Wine has become a handy staple as well; although there are far too many brands for me to ever become knowledgeable about it, no one can tell that by looking at my glass, thus preserving the illusion of refinement.