The Clamato Disagreement

by El Hombre and Flipperson Wheyside

The Caesar - Either adored or reviled, there's little middle ground. Flipperson Wheyside and El Hombre recently discovered they're in opposing camps where Clamato is concerned. Their confrontation was transcribed for your enjoyment.

There's a Bubba sized guy at work who was talking about his love for Caesars. I berated him for drinking tomato fish juice. He said with a pickle, it's very refreshing. I said, "That's double-gay, damn you, now get out!" I don't I'll live through the day.

What the fuck is wrong with Caesars, you pretentious wank?! You can pack a healthy amount of booze into those fuckers, AND you can drink them even when you're hung over.

The pickle sounds a little weird, though. And for that reason, you should get some friends and beat him up for being different.

Listen, I don't think it's pretentious to think a Sssspicy ssssCaesssar is a medley of stupid and girly. I'd like to go back in time, meet the genius that came up with the idea of cutting the foul taste of Tomato juice with the salty brine of clams, and introduce him to the refreshing flavour of a can of whoop ass. And booze don't make it okay! I could spike dirty sock soup with expensive cognac and it would still be dirty sock soup!

What do you mean "booze don't make it okay"! Need I remind you of the day you jazzed up my protein shake so that I may gain admittance to your drunken palace of debauchery? OF COURSE BOOZE MAKES IT OKAY!!! And that aside, Clamato Juice is damn tasty stuff.

Clamato isn't a beverage, it's a half finished soup. Warm it up, add some corn, potatoes and some actual clams, you might have something. On the booze tip, limits must be drawn. A rummed up protein shake is one thing, but I don't know of anyone who'd kick back with a Fear Factor Pigs Ass and Cockroach Daiquiri.

Clamato isn't a beverage, it's a half finished soup. Warm it up, add some potatoes and some actual clams, you might have something.

That line kind of makes me wish I hated Clamato juice, just so I could use it. Instead, I'll use this one: Which sissy puked for nearly 24 solid hours due to berry wine cooler abuse?

Now don't go getting personal, Silver Bullet. Don't make me tell the Hat Trick story.

THAT WAS A HUGE AMOUNT OF BOOZE!!! Fine. Dainty constitutions aside, I can consume a bunch of Caesars, with or without hangover, consequence free.

That's no excuse, Aquaman. Well, at least you Don't befoul beer with that salty undersea poison. That would be inexcusable

…sometimes a Red Eye hits the spot…

WHAT?! Bah!! YOU!!!… I don't want to talk to you for a whole week.